The Selfish 20 Something Year Old

“Sometimes we give so much that we end up losing ourselves”

Selfish is a characteristic that has always been a bit of a foreign to me.  My parents raised my brother and I to be very selfless people, put others before ourselves, and to always have others best intentions in heart and mind.  I am very thankful I was raised to be a selfless human, but experiencing life in my twenties I have realized it is OKAY to be selfish.

When I say selfish, I don’t mean making everything about myself, doing things in life only for me, never having others feelings in mind, etc.  I mean doing things for me because it is what is best for me.  It is one thing to be a selfish, ignorant human being, but it is another thing to be selfish to benefit your own life.  Don’t be that ignorant selfish human :).


Here is a little background story: When I was in high school, I was a big people pleaser.  I made sure everyone around me was happy, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.  I dropped everything for everyone even when it was unnecessary, I assisted others when I didn’t even have the time for myself, and it would get to the point where I would allow my peers to walk all over me because I never wanted to upset anyone. Fast forward post high school and…


Why in the world would I let anyone walk all over me? Tell me how to live my life? Sacrifice MY own happiness only to please others??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALEXANDRA??????

Don’t get me wrong, I am still a very selfless individual but if something or someone is not serving me purpose or value in my life then GOOD-freaking-BYE.

I am at a point in my life where I am setting myself up for a very successful future and to live my dream I have always dreamed of living.  I cannot have anything holding me back, including pointless relationships/friendships, jobs that aren’t for me, or wasting my time doing senseless things.  I used to give people more than second chances, until I learned that people do not and will not EVER EVER EVER change.  They may mature, but their personality and qualities as a person are deep rooted in them, and I realized that a lot of my past relationships (with friends and exes) never lasted because our personalities just did not match up or our lives were not in sync at that point in our lives.

And if you find that this is happening to you, it is okay!! You will survive.


When I made fitness my lifestyle, I lost multiple friends.  At first, it was a tough pill to swallow because I never understood why things like that happened.  As I got older, I realized that not everyone is on the same path in life.  A lot of us have different visions and goals, some don’t have any goals, and thats what makes people separate in life.  It’s unfortunate, but sometimes it is necessary in order to better your own life.

My message in all of this, is that it is okay to put your wants and needs first because at the end of the day the only person who is there for you is yourself.  All that matters, is what you do for yourself in order to live your best life.  If that means dropping certain people or jobs that seem to be toxic in your life – so be it, you’ll be okay I  promise.

People make time and prioritize the things they want to.  I will do anything for my close circle of friends and family, because that is family.  My family, friends, fitness, and my future are my priorities.

You’ll look back at this time and be so thankful you ended up what was doing best for you.  Marvel at your growth and the change in your life.

Change is inevitable.  To be selfish with your time is okay: travel, explore, make mistakes, find yourself, and figure out your life.  You are setting yourself up for greatness.

Do me one favor before you go – take five minutes and reflect on your life.  Is what you are doing and the people you have in your life adding or taking away value? If ‘taking away value’ comes across your mind – drop that thing or person.  Be selfish during your pursuit to the best you.

Much Love,


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